Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Coffee Table Books--Assuming my coffee table will ever be clean

While I'm sure a real picture of my coffee table in its current state would generate plenty of blog traffic (and possibly an opp in Dr. Randy Frost's studies on hoarding), I'm not enough of a social media whore (yet) to do it. Sorry. For now, that cluttered surface will remain my secret shame.

The great thing about not having a visitor-worthy coffee table is that I can fantasize about all the wonderful books I could display on it. Notice how this fantasy means cluttering the streamlined surface in a new way? I sense a pattern here. Hmm.

There's probably a more obvious pattern to my housekeeping than my coffee table book selection methodology, but what do I care?

Anyway, I think Amy Sedaris's domestic goddess masterpiece, I Like You is a must. I haven't purchased it yet, but I'm going to. It's like watching party preparation at a party. That's deep. Also, It's Amy Sedaris and therefore hilarious.

Next up, Zombies vs. Unicorns. The book is cool-looking. I love the dueling zombie and unicorn in the black strap overlaying the zombie mayhem underneath. Also, the stories are wonderful and annotated with witty commentary by Holly Black (team unicorn) and Justine Larbelastier (team zombie). Reader=Amy (team zombie). You could go crazy with this one and consider it for the bathroom. Short stories are great for those times when you only have moments to remain deep in thought.

My Horizontal Life! Oh baby, there's so much you could do with this. Actually, I haven't even read it yet. I just want to have it out in a prominent place when I know conservative guests are coming over. Maybe the key is to keep it in the guest room!

Nothing beats the voyeuristic joy of reading something that was never intended for you, and Bill Shapiro has compiled two delicious morsels for us filled with the creme de la creme of rejection letters and love notes! Not only are the letters fun to read for the window you get into the private and dramatic moments in someone else's life (and some of these people are quite prominent), but they're presented in such an artistic way. These books are combinations of humor writing/editing and found art.

More found art from Passive Aggressive Notes. The book is just the icing on your coffee table. If you're currently wired (as in internet--not coffee), visit the official website for even more notes from angry people. The website led me to the book a few years ago after a friend of mine received two hostile notes attached to his bike on the racks at work. He kept them framed on his desk to keep his own asshole skills in perspective. Everyone needs an idol.

For good measure, here's a token Zombie coffee table book. Don't freak out too much. It's scones and tea appropriate. Most of the illustrations and pics are too old school to be gross and it's mainly poster art and essays by zombie greats like Romero. Shamble on!

Drumroll, please, for the book that inspired a list of books in the first place: Milk Eggs Vodka: Grocery Lists Lost and Found. I still can't bring myself to snag those beauties I see twisting in the spokes of maimed shopping cart wheels, but it is so tempting after I read this. I'm also starting to write my lists in code in case other collectors are out there.

Who needs those stupid fake books to decorate with when you can make a real statement with these beauties?