Thursday, April 21, 2011

Dare to be stupid

We're going into a three day weekend (or, I'm going into a three day weekend---I hope my readers are too), so I think it's time for another post honoring silly things. Also, a lot of silly things seem to be going on.

As you know, from my post On a Stormy Night in NJ, New Jersey is a very exciting place, especially Cranford. Sure, it looks like a cute sleepy town full of elderly Republicans and couples with 2.5 kids (the 0.5 kid is hidden in the attic), but there's some excitement here. I know I'll find it if I keep looking. Last night, as I curled up under the covers and debated about reading a few pages of Kelley Armstrong's The Summoning before passing out, I heard this loud crash, swish-swish-swish, BOOM, CRASH, crash

Richard Dreyfuss plays with clay
My husband groaned, "What was that?"
I said, "I dunno."
"Oh well," he said, "It sounded far away." Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I lay there staring at the ceiling anticipating the bizarre synthesizer symphony, the bright lights, the sunburn, the urge to sculpt things out of mashed potatoes. So far, none of this has happened. I know. I'm kind of disappointed too.

Even though we're still alive and nothing with tentacles or flashing lights busted into our house in the night, I wondered what went bang. So I started combing the news. All I found were a bunch of stories about Amtrak and NJ Transit trains hitting people. I'm beginning to wonder if they have a quota because this happens a lot. For anyone who's on the fence about it, I don't recommend playing on the tracks in NJ. Pedestrian walkways are provided to get to the other side, unless, you're trying to get to the other side in the "heavenly" sense.

I gave up on the bang and started reading news snippets from Publishers Weekly. Today is a golden one for quality book news! USA Today (aka News McNuggets) mentioned that Twilight and Atlas Shrugged are back on the bestseller list. Apparently, Atlas Shrugged is quite the hit with Tea Partiers.

When I was in 10th grade and we covered WWII in world history, our teacher mentioned that Mein Kampf was THE coffee table book of its time in Germany. (That wasn't on the final, BTW.) Can you imagine going to someone's house for dessert and seeing a book like Fathers and Daughters: Portraits next to Mein Kampf? Weird. Anyway, I don't think Tea Party people read much since reading and thinking seem to be positively correlated. So, I suspect Atlas Shrugged might be the current coffee table book of Tea Party types a la Mein Kampf.

On to lighter things. Thanks to Lagerfeld and a few others, you can smell like a book. Isn't that exciting? I thought this was a totally original idea, but apparently, Demeter Fragrance Library got there first with Paperback. I love Demeter Fragrance Library! They have every scent you ever secretly loved, but were afraid to admit to. My favorite example: Play Doh. Yes, you can buy a bottle of Play-Doh perfume. It's okay to be excited, just don't let your friends see you. They also make a Dirt perfume. I'm a gardener and as much as I love that fresh earthy smell, I don't think I want to wear it to work or out to dinner. Five star restaurants tend to frown upon guests who smell like dirt.

The Old Spice Guy
In other news, I'm pleased to announce that I have decided to bring the Himbo character back to my current rewrite of Keeper. Understanding the burden of being "really, really good-looking" (thank you Ben Stiller) is important, and I just can't leave it out of the book. Hello washboard abs and two digit IQ!